Sekali

Hari ini, jemariku menari menekan kekunci. Menulis dalam bahasa ini, bahasa ibundaku sendiri. Bahasa yang telah kututuri semenjak lahir lagi. Bahasa ini kata mereka harus diangkat tinggi. Memartabatkan bahasa ini menjadi satu misi. Akankah fantasi ini menjadi realiti? Kala mereka sibuk mengadili, menjadi juri, menabur kritik dan kata keji, adakah terjaga martabat bahasa ini? Adakah semakin tinggi maruah bangsa ini? Sedangkan mereka sendiri membuta tuli, merancang langkah, takut berlari. Sampai bila harus di sini? Menyimpan kuku menjaga taji. Mereka berbangga berbahasa inggeris, sedang bahasa sendiri terbiar sepi. Bila bertutur di hadapan kami, nahu dan kata masih lagi lari.

Mereka bermadah dengan angkuh dan bongkak, menabur janji katanya aspirasi. Aku lalu tergelak sendiri melihat mereka mengangkat tempat diri sendiri. Semakin hari semakin keji.

Lost,

Once upon a time,
I once had someone in my life, who cared for me and loved me sincerely. I was in comfort. I was happy until I got too loose. We were too far apart. The long distance was unbearable. I took that person for granted. I hurt him without intentions. I changed him. I tried to mold him into someone that I wanted him to be, not someone that I used to love. I was cruel and awful towards this lovely mankind. I got sensitive. I got hurt too easily. And worst come to worst, I got bored. I got bored of all his showering care and love. I got bored of his attention and feelings. I got bored of him. He was hurt. Deeply hurt. While I, was out, looking for some adventures, looking for someone new, seeking for some attention that he had given me more than enough. I admit, I am awfully bloody terrible. But that could change nothing. As he, is now gone. He had left me. He had started a new chapter, without me. He had had enough. He had been suffering for long, being ignored, hurt, and terribly wronged, by me. This person that he used to love a whole lot is now just somebody that he used to know. They said, you will realize how important someone is in your life when that person has gone. And I, bear witness that the statement is truth. I tried my best to fix things up, apologize, start new. But hey, it's not as easy as munching on some snacks. When a glass is shattered, you can't simply piece it back together using super glue. That's what happened. And I'm doomed, being a pathetic loser. Not being able to get over and move on. Because I'm just a little girl, lost. A lost little girl in her own world.