Mine.

Mine.

video cr to ; TaylorSwiftVEVO

Boy : Isn't that yours? *points to the sky*

Girl : What?

Boy : That star?

Girl : No. 

Boy : It's yours, I give it to you.

Girl : Which one? Haha. Just like how ELFs gave stars to SJ members.

Boy : That one. *points at one small star*

Girl : *yawn* Why so small?

Boy : What does it means if the star is small?

Girl : It's far away? *sleepy expression*

Boy : It means you. Looks twinkling. But too far to reach and hard to know you deeply.

Girl : eh??? whatever.

          A quite cheesy conversation between a girl and a boy. But that kind of adorable cheesiness works well most of the time on girls. How can you not fall for a guy that speaks like that to a very sleepy and messy girl that's hugging a little pillow and a hoodie outside a small tent? Very sweet.

          And can you imagine how the girl is feeling at that time? She must be on the cloud nine. Thinking whether she should take that seriously or not. The boy treats her really well. Caring for her most of the time. And with her all the time. Even if he didn't mean anything, those things would have surely touched her heart.

          She went on day by day as her feelings for him grows. He kept being good to her. Being sweet and kind all over. Spoke very nice and creamy words to her everyday. How happy she is.

          However, one day she knew that it was only her. It was her who thinks that way. The boy had nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even a pinch of feelings towards her. She fell hard on her butt crashing her hearts into pieces. Trying to hide her tears but they keep flowing all day long.

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          It was because she was full of hope. She was very comfortable. She was filled with love and joy. And because of that, the reality had hurt her so much. Yes. But no matter what happens, she must accept the truth. The ugly truth that; He was the best thing. But never been mine...

5 Enviable Facts About Me. *sarcastic*

5 Enviable Ridiculous Facts About Me.

• I have very big eyes. They come in complete set with short-sightedness and very long but not curly eyelashes. Not to forget the baggy eye-bags and dark circles that come along. xD
• I'm very loud. I can talk very loudly with very high pitch and very fast that most of the time I can't even be heard by a normal people. Very impressive right?
• I'm extremely rich with fats. They grow under my skin all over my body. And yes, I feed them to grow everyday. ;)
• I have acne scars on my face. They look like polka-dots. Envy me cause you don't have them like I do. 
• I'm very cute. I'm very chubby and short. Simply adorable.

Aren't you filled with envy reading my post? I'm very sure you do. (a/n ; or...don't). Yes, you can take out your rifle gun and shoot me right now. Enjoy. :)

Beautiful.

Beautiful.


          Beautiful is a very subjective adjective. Anything can be beautiful according to what beauty to you is. No, I'm not going to talk about me being beautiful because I'm not, well again, not in some peoples' eyes. But today I'm going to talk about the beauty of life.


          I'm not saying that I have a beautiful life. In fact, my life isn't beautiful. But it's the persons and things who coloured my life made it beautiful.


          My days aren't always beautiful. I had some very dull days and sometimes very colourful day. Today was one of the colourful day. Colourful doesn't mean that it is filled with some bright and happy colours. It's also filled with some dull and warm colours. But that what makes it beautiful. You won't consider a painting with just bright colours beautiful. Instead, a balanced painting is usually beautiful in my point of view.


          Some of them who made my life beautiful are my friends. Yes, I have some very awesome friends. They don't always make me happy. But their presence is the thing that makes me happy. Well, surely I'm not ALWAYS happy with their presence but most of the time, it's a good thing to have them there.


          Friends, sometimes they're annoying or they make you mad. And sometimes it's vice versa. But those are things that colour your life. Except if you don't have any friends, which is, very rare. They make fun of you, they fight with you, they scream at you, they laugh with you and they cry with you as well. Okay, again, not all the time. But most of the time, they understand what you're feeling. I feel blessed having my friends around me. Most of my friends are quite weird or should I say unique compared to anyone else just like myself (a/n ; well, my classmates are all craaaaaaaaaazy. and i love that) but that's what makes them so lovable and colourful.


          Do envy me because I have some very awesome friends. I don't think I could find the same anywhere else. TBB TBG for the win!~~ (a/n ; you might not understand what the acronyms mean. Well, you don't have to)

Very Likable.

Very Likable.


          Likable means easy to like and very pleasing. Yes. That's my point today. A very likable thing or person is those that can make you feel happy just by listening about it. A very pleasant feeling when you think about it. And a very flowery sensation comes to your mind when you see it. Oh My God! I sounded lame. Shoot me now~!


          As a teenage, I really thing the hormone change in my body resulted this situation I'm in right now. It's very easy for me to like something now. And my mood changes rapidly almost every moment. I got happy easily and cry easily too. I go all glee and giddy when I see the favorable thing or likable person. I swear, it happens unintentionally. And it makes me look very weird now. 


          Anyways, I think I'm very cute. I'm gonna be like this for a while now. So please. Please. Please. I beg you. Please bear with me for a little while. Thank you. I love you!

video cr to ;  GuiGuiProduction

p/s ; how good can a woman feel when someone sings this song for her? That special someone would be very likable in her eyes.

p/p/s ; It's like a very pointless update from me. But, cheers~!

Today

Today

video cr to ; BIGBANG

          Today, many things happened. Today, I was left with no choices. Today, I drank 1.3 liters of water at school. Today, my very kind little brother bought chocolate ice cream for me. Today, Dina kissed me on the cheeks and suddenly played peek-a-boo with me when I was about to sleep. Today, I didn't bring my lunch box to school because there was nothing to take to school. Today, we made a plan to reduce 3kg from our body weight. Today, I watched Oh! My School after missing a few episodes of it.

          So, let's get to it one by one. Today, I was left with no choice. There was a person who forced me to do the thing that I'm not good at. I hate it when I don't have any option. He could've just gave it to other very good persons that will surely win the public speaking. But he just loves to make things go his way. He should've let me enter the SIR challenge because he, himself know that I'm really good at it. And being a crybaby, I cried. I hate it. In my life, why do I always have to face the situation without any options?

          Today, I drank 1.3 liters of water at school. That maybe a little amount but that's a big amount for me to gulp down when I'm still at school. As the result, I had to go to the toilet twice today. xD 

          Today, my very kind little brother bought chocolate ice cream for me. Eddie bought me ice cream after I asked him to. He's supposed to buy it yesterday but he lost his money yesterday so if I continued bugging him yesterday, I'm quite sure that his punch that went to the wall yesterday would reach my pretty cute face. Right? So I ate the chocolate ice cream happily. He's kind~!

          Today, Dina kissed me on the cheeks and suddenly played peek-a-boo with me when I was about to sleep. It was when I came back from school. I'm used to sleeping after school. Because that baby girl disturbed me and continued calling me 'kakak...' with a very cute voice, I didn't sleep this evening.

          Today, I didn't bring my lunch box to school because there was nothing to take to school. My mother didn't cook this morning. She bought some cucur badak and nasi lemak. I usually take lunch to school but not today. So, I ate breakfast at home. I took the cucur badak. At school, the cucur badak with dried shrimp hate me so much that it caused me an allergy. Some small little spots formed on my hand and face. It's still forming right now and it's itchy. Damn you cucur badak!

          Today, we made a plan to reduce 3kg from our body weight. Me, Aqilla, Azrina and Fatin planned to reduce 3kg from our body weight. We're planning to look pretty.(a/n ; blekh!) I would like to know how it feels to be slim, slender and pretty. So, pray for me! Wish us luck for our plan!

          Today, I watched Oh! My School after missing a few episodes of it. Myeongsu was so cute! Tony was adorable! Eunjung was lovable! Joon was lovely! and G.Na was so pretty!~~~

          So, now, I'm drinking a bottle of Ribena. It has been a long time since I last drank Ribena because my family stopped consuming it for a while. But yesterday my mom bought it. So, let's drink!

Survival Camp; I survived!

Survival Camp; I survived!


          Last Friday, after sweeping away all my sadness, I joined a 3-days survival camp organized by my mother's school at Pulau Pangkor. At first, it was me alone who wanted to go. Then I forced my beloved younger-brother-with-different-parents to squire me. And as a very good little brother he is, Eddie agreed to go to the camp.


          The journey started on 9pm. Me and another 42 students including Eddie rode the bus with 2 female teachers to the Jetty at Lumut. Then, we continued our journey to Pulau Pangkor with the ferry. Along the way, I made some friends with the other students there and the same goes with Eddie. But it's still awkward so the best way is to stick close with Eddie. Even in the ferry, we were together. And that, sparks controversy and gossips among the students and also the teachers. How lame is that.


          Right after arriving at Pangkor, the girls went to have lunch and the boys went to perform the Friday prayer with the teachers. After the boys had their lunch, we were required to walk about 11km to the camp site from the jetty. It was a quite thrilling beginning for a camp. But yeah, I just faced it without not much complaining. It wasn't called survival camp for nothing right? At first, I walked with the girls but then it was so boring and tiring for me to walk slowly under the prickling sun. In my mind, I prefer walking faster when it's hot so that the heat that reached me could be reduced (a/n ; as if..LMAO). So I ran and walk fast like I usually do. And at a point, I met Eddie! Yay! So we continued the journey together. We were among the first ones on the line of 43 students. There were some indecent voices saying that me and Eddie were lovers since we stick together from the beginning. However, the camp leader, Mama and another teacher, who are my mother's and Eddie's mother's friends know that we are almost like siblings. So there's nothing to worry about. Some other kids walk together in couples and they ended up being reproved by the teachers.


          Then, we arrived at the camp site. It was situated at Teluk Nipah. Yes, we walked all the way to Teluk Nipah from the main Pangkor Jetty. It was quite far from the town Pasir Bogak, and it felt further because we were walking under the hot burning sun. We were divided into groups and was asked to set up a tent. Yes, just one. Because we were not going to sleep in the tent. It was just a storage to store our things. There was a short briefing about the flow of the camp. After that, there were an ice breaking slot. I was appointed to be the 'Penghuluwati', voted by the camp participants. Then, each groups was asked to make our own flags and group yell. Everyone was trying to be funny. And I swear, most of them were influenced by the movie HKLBR, including my group. I helped to draw the flag of my group. And uhh, before I forgot, Eddie was placed in the same group as me because Mama knows that we need each other there. LOL. (t/n ; Mama is a teacher, she is also a counselor in the school and everyone calls her Mama). When I was drawing, Eddie made his I'm-surprised-face as if he never see me drawing. This boy, he deserve a flying kick from me. 


          There, the camp commander had a very unique greeting. We all ended up following his greeting which is, "Yo! Punai!" It literally means 'yo bird' but typical Malay would think that it's a kind of bad word. However, the greetings was quite cool for me. Everyone was using that even if the person that you greet isn't your friend. After saying 'Yo! Punai!', it's continued with 'Wiki wiki..' and the other person must continue with '...zombie..'. Then both persons will say, '..ooootaaaakk..' in the zombie intonation. It was very cool and funny if it's spoken in the right way.


          That night, after maghrib, we were sent into the jungle with food supply, 4 ground sheets, some things to start fire, water, torch lights and without any utensils. We were required to stay in the jungle until the next morning. So that night, we have to cook our own dinner, without any utensils. Having some experience as a scout, I knew how to cook some of the food. In my group, some of us have had experiences participating in these kind of camping including Eddie. I think he was the most experienced since he was ready with everything needed for a survival camp. Unfortunately, most of the things that Eddie brought was seized by the teachers since we had to test our survivability. 


          At first, the boys tried to start the fire using some paper to burn. But it was an epic failure. Thank god Eddie was smart enough to remember that we were supplied with some fire starters. I ended up laughing by myself at their obliviousness. So, that night, we had chicken cooked in bamboo, rice cooked in coconut, some 'half-cooked' eggs, roasted sweet potato and twisted bread. The only thing that's finished was the chicken. I was quite proud since my hands were the ones that marinated the chicken. And it was unexpectedly delicious. The so called partially cooked eggs aren't really cooked actually. In fact, it wasn't cooked at all! When we were talking near the fire, Eddie was holding one of the eggs, suddenly, the egg popped in his hands and he just slurped them out thinking that it was a partially cooked egg. But the gross thing is, it's raw! The girls freaked out and he made his I'm-surprised-face again. Eww. However it was forgiven since Eddie can't really see at night and it was him who ate the egg, not me. So, who cares.


          Next, it's time to go to sleep. The boys built two tents for sleeping. The four girls supposed to sleep in the smaller tent and the five boys were supposed to sleep in the bigger tent. But we didn't sleep at all. I had my migraine attacked me that night because I didn't take my medicine at all that day. Worse, i can't even close my eyes. I had to sleep to reduce the pain. We couldn't sleep an inch throughout the night except a person. He's quite weird. He even snored. One of us wanted to prank him. He screamed at the sleeping Hasnul, saying that a boar was coming towards us and that weird-sleeping-boy jumped out, surprised, throwing everything out of his hand. He lost  his compass and we had a big laugh at that moment. Then, on 3am, we were asked to return to the base camp since the day was going to rain. We packed our things and moved out from the jungle. At the base camp, we slept on the ground sheet under the roof. I thanked god. Finally I was able to sleep even for two hours.


          The next day, we started our day with our subuh prayers. Then we played some games for the morning exercise. I had fun. After that, we cooked our breakfast. Yes, we had to cook to eat. No one supplied food for us. After having breakfast, we went for jungle trekking. I was annoyed during the jungle trekking since some of the girls were in front of me to walk near Eddie. It's not that I'm jealous or what so ever that I couldn't walk with him but it's just the matter of fact that I walked between two girls and ended up landing on my butt 4 times along the jungle trekking because no boys were there to help me. -.-". It's still painful. When we got out of the jungle and walked on the main road, I ran, again. Yea, I do love to run there. And miraculously, my legs weren't painful at all. As I ran, someone was beside me, yeah, Eddie catch up with me. As I said, he's a good little brother that won't leave his sister alone. LMAO. When we arrived at the camp, they were complaining about how their legs hurt. It wasn't painful at all for me. However, the thing that bothers me was the feverish temperature on the island. I could feel my skin was tanning.


          Then, after a short rest, we cooked our lunch. Some of the dishes were given by the teachers as present for our good behavior during the activities. I was hungry, but couldn't eat more. After zuhur, the teachers, again, surprised us with another present. We were allowed to go snorkeling. It was a new experience for me since I never went snorkeling before. However, since the activity wasn't included in the schedule, we had to pay another RM10 for it. I had RM 11 and 35 cents in my purse and Eddie had RM8 in his wallet. How funny is that. I really wanted to go but Eddie had to be there with me. So he searched for his coins and there were exactly RM1. We were laughing out loud and I gave him another RM1. That's how strong our will to play at the sea. 


          Then, in line, the 43 students walked from the camp to the seaside waiting for the boat to fetch us and take us to the Coral Island. We prepared ourselves with the life jackets. I was being naughty and tried to prank people. My first victim was my little brother. Oh yeah. Eddie! When you wear a life jacket, there's a cord or should I say a rope that goes between your legs and secured near your waist. It could be adjusted by pulling it to tighten it. I went to Eddie, held the rope, and...pulled it hard and fast. LOL. Please don't blame me me if anything happens to your future, Eddie! I tried to do other things to other people but they weren't really in the mood since we were waiting under the sun at the seashore.


          After arriving at th island, there was a small briefing. Then, we went in to the sea. The camp commander taught each one of us how to float and swim. When it was my turn, he was like "Okay, relax and try to float your body..". I smiled and said, "Sir, I can swim..". He then pushed me away and was like.."Next..". HAHAHAHAHAHA. It's better not to waste his time on me right? So I tried to familiarize myself with the sea condition. First, I was snorkeling with the girls. They who can't swim pulled my hands and it was putting tense on me. If you're panicked, you're not supposed to hold the person beside you because you will end up drowning that person. The right way is to either let them hold you or just hold their life jacket. NOT their body parts. So at last, I left them and swam to Eddie. After snorkeling, we went to the other side of the island to wait for the boat and swim. When I got out of the water, some of them freaked out seeing the blood that came out of my toes. I, myself was quite surprised. The bleeding won't stop. It looked like someone just chopped my toe. Then the 'Penghulu' played his role. He held my toes and read something. He pured some mineral water then the bleeding stopped. Teacher Siti was worried sick and it was quite hilarious. It wasn't painful for me. But the bleeding made it looked so painful. 


          After 3 hours at the sea, we went back to the camp. I ran with Eddie, again, along with the leader of the camp and a very kind 'abang'. Yes, I ran with the very injured soles. LOL. On my way back, Eddie suddenly sprinted and left me behind with the camp leader. I yelled at Eddie but he was too far ahead. Then, Sir Amin, the camp leader said, 'Your 'abang' left you..'. I almost laughed my ass off, he was the one who didn't misunderstood our relationship but he thought that Eddie was my older brother when in fact he was my little bro. Holding my laugh inside, I sprinted and arrived at the camp, seeing my mother and my family was already there. 


          Then, we prepared for prayers. After that, because there were many teachers there, including my mother, they decided to cook for the students along. So for dinner that night, we got food! yes! No cooking! I was sick of cooking. LOL. After dinner, we had to perform for 'Malam Kebudayaan'. It's supposed to be very exciting and noisy and fun but everyone was so tired, the night became very insipid. Then we went to sleep. We were allowed to sleep early because according to the schedule, we got Qiamullail and solo drop late at night. However, I woke up at 2am following the time table but I ended up sleeping again when I saw no one around. Again, waking up at 4, for the solo drop or more known as 'burung hantu', I slept again because no one woke up. Even the teachers weren't around. At last, we were woken up by th teachers on 5.35am. oh yeah! Subuh! That night, we got enough sleep.


          After subuh, we went for riadhah and played games. It was really fun since everyone was relaxed. But I hate it how the girls was complaining all along about how their legs hurt and how tired they were. Like duh, everyone WAS tired. Not only you. So please, shut your mouth. We played crazy train and friends that morning. After playing, we cooked breakfast. I made sardine roll. And how ugly it looks, it tasted really good. I swear. Ask Eddie if you don't believe me. Everything was finished. I was proud since I was the one who made most of them.


          Then, we packed to leave. And there was the closing ceremony. After that, we went to the Jetty, this time, by van. I was still with Eddie. After arriving at Lumut, we went for lunch. I was with Eddie again, but he left me. And I was like a crazy girl looking for him. Pft, such a pain on the ass. Most of the went shopping there. And remember how I only got 35 cents and Eddie got none? Before we went to Jetty from the camp site, my mother gave us some money. Thank god.


          Then, we went home by bus. It was a very fun trip. I was having fun. But the only thing that upset me is that my skin got tanned more. Very annoying.

The Ordinary Extraordinary.

The Ordinary Extraordinary.

video cr to ; kpopsubs

           I just came back from my school's speech day for year 2010. I was awarded with 7 prizes. I should be happy. But I'm crying. Yeah, I'm such a cry baby. Call me anything. I'm just too hurt to fight back.


           Since kindergarten, I'm a quite good student in the academic path. Therefore, you can see either one of my parents on school's speech day almost on every year. Speech day is considered an unusual thing for an average student. Okay, I'm not here to brag about my achievement but just sharing my feelings right now.
           
           The first time they came, I got first place in the batch and that was on year 2004. If I'm not mistaken, only my mother was present on that year. But who cares? I got a prize and I was happy. As an eight-year old, I was extremely happy that time to be on stage and seeing my mom taking pictures of me.


           For the following years, the same thing happen over and over again. Exactly the same except one thing; my feelings. I started to feel unappreciated by my parents. They didn't look as proud anymore. Maybe it has become a usual thing for them. However, by the end of my years in elementary school, I was awarded 'The Academic Figure of The Year' for my outstanding achievement along my study in SK Raja Perempuan Muzwin. They looked very proud. And I swear, that was the only time where both of my parents attended the speech day. But there's something there. They didn't look as proud as they were when my sister was awarded the title 'The Best Student of The Year' along with the 'Ar-Rahmah' title from the same school. That, left a scar on me.


           I went on and attended high school while trying to shed all the bad memories and let the scar leave slowly. I tried my best in every test and fair very well. Repeat; Very Well. Again, I'm not trying to brag right here. And so, my parents, once again, got the invitation to the school's speech day. I was very happy. It was my first year on high school and I got first place in the batch while some of the students are still struggling to familiarize with the high school regulations and style of study. If you're my parents, won't you feel proud? And the speech day went as usual.


           Last year, I got the first place again. My parents are again, invited to the school's speech day that was held today. I thought they would feel very proud. Two years in a row. Don't you think so? But I was wrong. They don't even bother to come. My mother was busy with her school program and my father was busy on field with his students. Earlier, my father said he was coming. I was waiting with tears. Many questions popped out in my head. I was devastated. Completely broken into pieces. But then colour came back to my face when I saw my mother entering the hall. 


           I went on stage and took the present happily with a smile on my face. I reached my place and sit, still with a smile. After a while, I looked at my mother's direction and I saw an empty seat there. Did a bullet just passed through my brain? No, but yes, my mother had left.


           Could you imagine my feelings at that time? I was speechless. At home, she said that she doesn't like the way the speech day at my school goes. I was upset. Very much. No matter how bad my speech day was. No matter how long they are giving speeches. No matter how boring the program goes. She should have stayed. She should be proud of me. Or at least make me feel appreciated. I'm not trying to blame anyone. I'm just...hurt.


           I guess something that's extraordinary, when it happens too usual, it will become an ordinary thing right? I hope I can be happy. I hope I can always make them attend the speech days in years ahead.


           My parents aren't bad. They maybe are not the best parents in the world. But they are my parents and I am their child. I hope they can always be proud of this daughter of theirs.

Rain ; a blessing from God.

Rain ; a blessing from God.

          According to what I learn in school, particularly in the subjects Science and Islamic Education, rain is a part of the water cycle that's arranged by our merciful God; Allah, to bring peace and to provide facilities for His creatures on Earth. It moisten parched soil on Earth, it helps to water the crops, it cleans the air and environment and it also brings happiness. So, in short, rain is such a priceless blessings from God.

          For me, the person named Rain, is also a mercy from God. It might not seem right but I'll explain. I'm enlightened to write about this after reading an update from the beloved heartthrob, JiHoon in his twitter account. 

          He changed his profile picture and uploaded a picture of a 16-year-old Rain. Very adorable. Along with the picture, he wrote about how he came across that old picture of him. He was cleaning his room and stumbled upon that picture of him with a friend. And the caption that he wrote there with the picture is ‘I have nowhere else to go! Let’s try my best today.”.

          From my guessing, that was the picture from the time when he was in 'Fanclub'. From the caption, I'm pretty sure that he was having a hard time by then. This boy, his life is almost full of hardness, obstacles and difficulty. However, he never gives up. And because of his strong determination and spirit, I can know him now and love him like how I do right now.

          When I first knew Rain, it was on 2008. He was on a quite popular commercial with everyone immitating his line in that CF, "My name is Rain..". I swear, it sounded so much better in Malay, "Nama saya Rain.."! I searched for it everywhere but can't find the full commercial in Malay. For god's sake, this boy was paid $4million for this commercial. And yes, he didn't lie in that CF, he really loves black. After that my-name-is-rain-fever, something happened and I can't tell about it here. It's enough to say that after that 'something' happened, I felt some kind of emptiness in my soul (a/n ; blekh! get ready with your rifle gun, my people!) and I slowly learned about him to fill in the emptiness. And yes, I managed to get out of that darkness and emptiness. I swear, I was once 'emo-ish'. Thank god, learning about Rain pulled me out of that and didn't get me 'emo' enough to slit my own wrist. That was one of abundance reasons why I think that Rain is a blessing from god.

         Learning about Rain, I learned about about his passion, his strong will and also about those hard times he had to face at such a young age. He opened my eyes on how I should fair in my life. He taught me about ups and down. He didn't always do well, sometimes he tripped and stumbled but up to this time, he can always stand up right again because of the love and support from the people around him. Recently, he stumbled upon a quite big stone. He almost fall headlong with all the company shares problems, lawsuit and gambling but fortunately, he stand up again with the help of his loved ones. That had taught me to always appreciate people who loves me and never forget them even when I'm indulgence. 

         

         Yes, he is indeed a mercy and blessing from god. I thank god for letting me to know this amazing man. I hope he will always be as amazing as he could be.